| Mariela's profileMariela Eula Psicologia...BlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
|
What is Projection? How We Choose the Ones We LoveHow one sees another is often determined by how one sees or does not see oneself. “Projection,” as defined by Carl Jung, is seeing in another qualities one possesses in oneself. This unlikely seeming phenomenon goes on daily in our relationships and encounters with others.
Whenever one is convinced that the awful qualities in another have nothing to do with oneself, or whenever one envies someone who seems to possess the very qualities one feels oneself sorely lacking, a projection has been engaged. One is under a kind of spell. How to awaken from this spell and reclaim oneself is an important question.
The Good News/Bad News Attraction
The good news is that one has what one thought one lacked; the bad news is that one has what one thought one lacked. What attracts two people is that each possess what the other wants. The secret is that what the other wants is already locked away in inside themselves. That’s what has called them to this person to begin with, that person waiting to be awakened with a kiss.
Unfortunately, the same rule applies to the darker parts of oneself. Whatever qualities one feels to be safely locked away from view, which generally means out of one’s own view, can be found alive and well in the other. In other words, those very qualities one chooses not to see can always be seen in someone else.
Who we Love and Hate
In relationships, both intimate and otherwise, one projects onto another whatever it is one needs them to be. Regarding intimate relationship, one projects the inner feminine/anima or inner masculine /animus onto the object of attraction. The person to whom one is most fervently attracted therefore (and this applies equally to same gender couples), is none other than the outer mirror for ones inner self. The Beloved holds the space for what the other is seeking. And yes, someone gets awakened with a kiss.
But Wait! Don’t they Really Get Put under a Spell?
Understanding the difference between what is true and what is only projection can be tricky. If a person or group of people has really “gotten under our skin” or the person or situation or thing really “gets to us,” one is most likely caught up in a projection or spell of some kind. Likewise, that feeling of “falling in love” is also an albeit glorious projection.
Whenever the emotions seem highly charged, more than what the situation might call for, this is most likely a projection. When family and friends ask “what’s up with so-and so?” and the person doesn’t seem to be thinking or acting at all clearly, their “head is in the clouds,” so to speak. These are good signs that a projection is lurking.
Getting Hooked/Getting off the Hook
When this happens it can be said one is “hooked.” It is the other person or group who has unknowingly provided the hook, but it is always oneself, or one’s group, who gets caught in the projection or “spell.” But remember, no one does this consciously.
Projection is always an unconscious act. Only as one begins to identify and bring back parts of the caught personality -- cast under its self-induced spell, so to speak -- can one return to a real life. Love, too, can become deeper, more richly realized, when the initial projections are withdrawn.
Withdrawing the Projections
Withdrawing one’s projections is the beginning of becoming whole. It is also how one learns who one truly is, not to mention who the other person is. Often when one starts to withdraw the projections, one sees the other as if for the first time.
Each relationship, each situation is, in a sense, an opportunity for one to look oneself in the mirror. This is not narcissism, says Jung, but the opportunity to gather back whatever has been caught in projections. With this gathering comes greater aliveness and awakened enthusiasm for life.
Sources and recommended readings:
Samuels, A., Shorter, B., Plaut, F. (1986). A critical dictionary of Jungian
analysis. London: Routledge.
Whitmont, E. C.. (1969). The symbolic quest: Basic concepts of analytic
psychology. Princeton: Princeton University Press. TrackbacksThe trackback URL for this entry is: http://mariela-eula-psicologia.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!BCAD47B8F9A76C9E!114.trak Weblogs that reference this entry
|
|
|
